dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
