The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
