We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize