pedialite and red bull = repair kit
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
