i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
do nipples grow back?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
