HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Im just a social blackout drinker.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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