Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
