dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
