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• (714): View more from California

  so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.

  (1-714): View more from California

  yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot

  (812): View more from Indiana

  It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him

  (317): View more from Indiana

  What did it come out and serenade you? Lol

  (812): View more from Indiana

  It sang to me in the dark. It was magical

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