Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
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I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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