He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
