i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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