I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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