You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
