the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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