Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize