I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize