My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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