i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
sarcasm needs its own font
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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