Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
