Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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