Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Blood and glitter go together right?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize