she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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