There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
