remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My breasts were aching with rage.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
