his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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