So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
