apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I supernannyed him into submission
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize