Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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