Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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