...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Apparently you make a good broom.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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