She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
