were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
