okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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