I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
