I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
