her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
