shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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