i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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