just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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