allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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