Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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