dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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