Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
