Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
