We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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