I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
