Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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