STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
