Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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