then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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