i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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