i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
did i walk over a car last night?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
