Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
