ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
