Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
