I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
