Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
