hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize