Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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