so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
