Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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