dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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