I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
